You, my longtime friend, why have you forgotten me since I transitioned ? I stayed the same you know !
To be friends or related
with a trans* person
avec une personne trans*
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The friends and relations of transgender people are very often different depending on the period of the person's life. Those from before the transition will be rare or even very rare or completely absent from the start of the transition period. Those who will remain can be described as "sincere and faithful friends in their relationship". The others are simply stubborn, closed-minded people who have no concept of the meaning of the terms "friendship", "fidelity" and "sincerity". In short : "they are cowards" !
It is however true that friends and relations, it comes and goes, "it goes away and it comes back" as Claude François sang so well! This means that during their transition, the transgender person will meet new people, often from the transgender community" but not only! And these new encounters will create new friendships, new relationships which, for some of between them, will disappear when the transition is over, but in this case, it is the vagaries of life that will be the cause and not the fact that the person is transgender !
In his new life, the transgender person may find love (which we wish him with all my heart), may also start a family (we also wish). These situations will inevitably lead to new encounters, new relationships that may be more lasting because transidentity will no longer be apparent and therefore will no longer have any influence in relationships.
So, dear friends and dear transgender friends, we invite you to greatly relativize all these "comes and goings" in your relationships during your transition journey. It is in a way "a must" because not all the people you will have met and that you will meet have this ability to understand what it means and what it involves to make a transition. It is therefore up to you to adapt to this situation without dramatizing it, even if the loss of the friendship of certain people to whom you will have become attached will cause you to suffer enormously.
Losing friends and relationships when you're transgender is ultimately a "normal" situation because your personality changes throughout your journey. Little by little, hormones, both female and male, have effects not only on your physique but also on your personality. Even if these changes are indiscernible, people around you notice it fairly quickly.
If they don't like it, they dump you without embarrassment and without telling you the reason for their removal. This situation can hurt you, hurt you or leave you completely indifferent. But keep in mind that this is just the course of life, there are people who pass and others who stay. That's life!
I invite you to read the story of a transgender person on this subject on the testimonials page.