Each story is unique. What I experienced is not
what you experienced or will experience !
Testimonials from trans* people
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Testimony concerning the family of a transgender person
As for parents, find out and be sensitive to what the person concerned is going through. That said, relationships will not be the same with the rest of the family.
Be allies. Learn what is right and wrong to say and stand up for our rights when they are violated.
This is what everyone should do, but maybe we are more likely to react or question ourselves when we have someone in our family who is affected.
Whether it's distant family or not, in any case it won't change your lives. Your brother tells you that she will be your sister from today? Never mind. At worst it does not change anything, at best she will be more confident with you.
The family is precious from the moment it makes you understand that you are just as much.
Testimony of a young transgender woman when she was a teenager
If your child comes out to you, it is certainly a question of honesty, but above all of trust. We choose to trust our parents when it comes to telling them that, no, their child is not the one they believe.
If it's at the start of the transition, it's a period of doubt, you question every aspect of your life and you need to have an anchor point, to know that you can always count on the presence and support from his parents.
Whether you are already aware of the subject or whether it is unknown to you, the main thing is to listen to your child. Maybe it's just questions, it's possible that he gets over it, most of the time it doesn't, but whatever. Your child is a whole person and his life belongs to him. These are his mistakes, his choices, and in the case that concerns us, their identity. It is important that a person can form himself, without trying to base on him the expectations or stereotypes of someone else.
Last, but not least, support your child in his transition. Unless he asks you otherwise and without being on his back at all times. In any case, find out about transidentity, try to understand what it is about and show him that you are interested and are sensitive to what he is going through. Being transgender isn't always easy, and every parent should be able to provide some respite for their child.
Testimony concerning the effects of the transition on a transgender person
With my transition, it's not just my appearance or my name that have changed, I'm literally not the same person anymore. It's one of the things we say to reassure ourselves, and to reassure others: “Yes, I'm a woman but I'm still me”.
It is simply false. When you go through a questioning of your identity, you question everything else. What is true? What is right or wrong? And my behavior, my friends, my vision of the world,...? My place in the world? And what world?
I've been in denial for fifteen years (I'm twenty-five) juggling from one identity to another. I had friends who corresponded to one, then to the other,... To end up having no one left.
By transitioning, I came out of my bubble. I was finally at peace with myself and therefore with the rest of the world. I changed my habits, my way of thinking, my associations...
I, who was alone in my corner, got closer to my family who, fortunately, stayed there for me. And I realized that she always had been.
My love life has also been impacted. Now that I am myself, I know what I want and what I value. I am more fulfilled than I would have ever been if I had remained in the shadows.
I started to understand how society worked and how they would treat me now that they know I'm a woman. Now that she knows I'm trans. And even if a billion experiences could disgust me with this society, I remain proud of who I am, proud to be a woman and proud to be trans.
Because it can be scary, it's not an easy life, but we're not alone. It's a whole community that sticks together and can be counted on to make this existence more peaceful.
Testimony concerning the granddaughter of a transgender woman
The granddaughter of a transgender woman (therefore her grandpa) asks her: "Why are you a girl ?".
So here is "the grandpa" on duty to explain to his granddaughter why he is a girl.
She allows her to ask her all the questions that come to mind and she answers in all frankness and sincerity.
The conversation thus lasts more than half an hour and the granddaughter is very interested.
At the end of the conversation, she asks her if the explanations she has received satisfy her.
And the child replies with a big smile: "Oh yes! Basically, you're a tomboy!"
If only everyone could be as open-minded as this little girl! Transgender people would be much happier !